KHAKI – A DEAR STRANGER 2

           The feeling of the walls caving in and being suffocated was not the feeling I had expected when I jumped in but I guess that’s the tuborg (beer) does to the brain. The expected feeling of cold water piercing my skin like surrounded by porcupines had started to hit me as the influence of alcohol began to fade. I had to knock multiple times on the walls of the plastic water tank I had jumped into just for fun to get my friends to notice I wanted to get out of there. The overhead tank adventure had got us all feeling hungry.So in our inebriated condition another adventure beckoned us, a midnight trip to the Night food street from Zirakpur to Chandigarh.

         We had a car at our disposal but that wouldn’t have been fun so we decided to go on our bikes. 3 bikes, 6 people night dresses, all of us half drunk by now nearly 13 km ride to the NFS all seemed very exciting. I was riding pillion to my friend Budhiya. The midnight cold breeze had me singing in no time and with hariya trying to poke me from the other bike everytime  the two bikes came close the tune became very intresting mix of the song and anti-jab squeaks. Then shambhu from the third bike egged on by shamsher challenged everybody to a race. It was eyes closed for me from that time and legs and arms tightly wrapped around budhiya I had prayer on my mind and lips.

           And soon enough the prayer was answered we had stopped in the matka chowk not because we had crossed the chequered flag but because two policemen had stopped our group of dhoom machale gangsters and were asking for papers while smelling for alcohol. Those days all the newspapers in Chandigarh were full of the latest drive by the police against drunk driving. The news flashed in front of my eyes and before anyone else could start babbling I started with pleasantries to the officer in my calmest and most charming voice. I guess that is why he was quick to deduce that I was drunk.

       The usual round of excuses and denials started from our part but the officer didn’t seem to be too interested in giving us a ticket. He just kept smiling at our attempts to string so many sentences to get a working consistent story going on. He deduced that we were drunk but much of the effect of alcohol had worn off. So he halfheartedly started getting the ticket book out. I had got the clue from his mannerisms and got a ticket of 100 bucks from my wallet and tried to hand it to him. He reiterated this is not the way, so I got another 100 and gave It to him that did the trick and he went back towards his gypsy probably to give his partner the share.

       We started mounting our bikes and almost put them I gear when the partner officer came running towards us with the 200 bucks in hand looking furious. I got a chill through my spine thinking here comes a lecture about the young generation with their father’s money just wasting away their life’s. when he came near he seemed a lot less intimidating . He was a sardar officer with a flowing white beard and rather had a loving expression on his face. He asked twice who gave this money?? .We were stunned but my hand had gone up in the air without me even realizing. He said son you were going to have some food, go ahead and if you are short on money taker it from me. This is not the way even I have children who are just like you . Now just go and have your food.

         We did go and have our food at NFS and on our way back collected another set of beers from a vend that had a little window open through out the night .But all though the drinking, the riding and the abusing of shambhu because his bike had run out of petrol and we had to foot-tug him along the thought of the noble soul who had showered on me an unique experience of a khaki clad policeman offering me money for food had haunted me. Was it a dream or was I kidnapped by aliens but I guess humanity is still alive around us , sometimes it can be hard to find among the people who beat defenseless women on the street and debate over jurisdiction over the injured body of a victim but it is there somewhere!!!!!!!!

GOT MY LICENSE !!!!!!!!!!!!

                          Now by getting my license i don’t mean i got married or something, I just got back my driving license which i had lost a few days back. Finally i feel like a complete and legal citizen. The incomplete and illegal feeling started the day i realized i had lost my wallet, one of the only two things i was personally responsible for not loosing along with my mobile phone. I had lost my mobile phone on earlier occasions but this feeling was different. I was deeply traumatized from deep within.

            The deep harrowing feeling was because of the thought of going to the transport office to get a duplicate issued made me loose a lot of sleep and stool. On second thought diarrhea was the chicken sandwich’s fault but still it was enhanced by the state of bathrooms in public offices. I felt handicapped because i will have to drive illegaly untill i get my license.

         My previous experience with the transport office was a year ago when i had to get my driving license renewed. It took almost a month to do what involved only 3 days of actual working. I approached the much hyped “Suwidha Center” and in a few minutes only I understood it was more of a “Asuwidha Center”. The receptionist told me to go to the window no. 24, where after waiting i a long line the clerk told me I had to go to the DTO office window no. 8.

         The coveted window no. 8 had a big line in front of it and almost no information above, below, beside anywhere. After loitering around a bit i was told by a good Samaritan to get a form from the canteen and get it filled along with a medical and deposit it before 1:30 pm here. Itwas 1:15 pm already. So I brought the form and went home . Next I went to a doctor who worked in a government hospital to my medical done. But he refused it when he read it had to be filled by a registered practitioner approved by the civil surgeon. So I had to go to the DTO office again to know who was the authorized. Ofcourse no one knew and no one had time or cared enough to tell me there. So i went to the canteen and told the canteen wala over a cup of tea my tale.

         Under the banyan tree pay Rs. 20 to Gupta and he will do what you need without even looking at you. No urine, stool or memory samples. Gupta was a no hassles man. My medical was done in seconds. I was back at window 8 where after a long snuggle struggle i finally deposited my form and headed to window 6 for fee deposit. Another huge line beckoned me but a unique phenomena here caught my eye. Every now and then a guy would come with a bundle of forms, knock on the window, say a code name and his forms were taken in out of line. It was almost divine.

         After the divine intervention I got my receipt on which was a date to come back to this office after 3 days for my photograph. Ready with freshly ironed clothes and a spank turban that took almost an hour to put on i was in line outside Room No. 111 waiting for my turn coupon no. 342. Two and half hours of waiting in a summer afternoon and a few bouts of shouting and barking from clerks at the job of capturing me in film I got another reciept to stand in line at window 10 on a date 15 days later than this day.

         Cut to the present day and I thought there is no way I am going through all that again. I went to the DTO office but this time straight to an agent sitting beside Gupta under the great ol banyan. All he needed from me was photocopy of the license, two photographs and a residence proof. He explained the whole process patiently and detailed the Rs. 800 I was going to spend bribing away and circumventing the system. He told me to come after 2 days and true to his promise I have my license in my newly bought wallent.

          AT last freedom from system through corruption and commission. :):)